Out of Bounds!

Is there a boundary on what one can say to God? Is there anything that is "out of bounds" in one's relationship with God? What is appropriate and inappropriate in expressing one's views or opinions or perspectives to God about how he is doing his job?

Our class at church is studying the Psalms using Walter Brueggemann's model of orientation, disorientation, and new orientation. For the past few weeks we have looked at the psalms of orientation - those times in life when life makes perfect sense, theology is neat and tidy, praises are abundant and questions are few. However, now we are transitioning into the world of disorientation - those times in the pit, the "dark night of the soul," when the world makes no sense and God is conspicuous by his perceived absence. Theology is messy and has to construct large convoluted arguments in order to protect us from God or Him from us. Questions abound - questions that scare us in their ability to doubt everything that we were so sure of during the times of orientation. During these times, what is out of bounds? Is our brutal honesty - honesty that would be called heresy by many - okay? Or do we need to curb our feelings in favor of more tame expressions of disgust and disagreement?

Psalms is a wonderful resource in addressing these questions. As the worship book of the people of Israel, they express faith in forms both common and uncommon, comfortable and uncomfortable, orthodox and "theologically" suspect. As I read Psalms like #13, I find a faith unlike my own and one that pushes the boundaries of normalcy. "Look on me and answer Oh Lord my God."(v.3) Such a bold statement to the God we are supposedly not to confront for fear of retaliation or fear of overstepping our creaturely status. I'm not willing to do that. And my question to myself is why not? Is it because I don't think God can take it or that I don't have the right because of my sin? Is it because I have never been far enough down in the pit to question "How long will you hide your face from me?" If the people of Israel validated this psalm as a legitimate expression of faith to God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, why is even broaching the topic so ridiculously difficult for me and many other believers today?

We discussed this in class this Easter morning while also watching the Nooma video "Open." Rob Bell spoke of Jesus on the night of Gethsemane being brutally honest with God not wanting to go through with the task ahead of him but also open to the ongoing work that God was up to through him. Such honesty, regardless of the comfort level of those around us, is necessary in order to be pleasing to God and to pray "effectively." God is big enough to take whatever we have to throw at him and to withhold those pockets of anger, rage, doubt, and fear is essentially denying God's sovereignty over those aspects of our life. Thank you God for Psalm 13!

Daddy's Favorite People

Life's Little Miracle

Today we brought home our second little miracle! Luke Richard Stephens was born Wednesday at 12:36PM and it was a blessing to be able to deliver him myself...What a neat experience to have during a lifetime! He was not exactly a little fellow - almost 21 inches long and weighing in at 9lbs. 15oz.! Mom and Daddy (along with the grandparents) are really happy to meet him) though Garrett is still wondering about how to cope with this little bomb that was dropped onto his world. However, he's hanging in there.

We brought him home though with reservation and a little anxiety though as we have learned more about Luke's right kidney. He has what is called a right hydronephrosis - a blockage somewhere between the kidney and bladder causing the kidney to swell along with the ureter. We don't know where the blockage is located but there will be a couple of tests this week that will hopefully let us know whether this is a problem to be corrected surgically or left alone to correct on its own. We appreciate your prayers as we raise this little guy!

"Everything Must Change"

I am reading Brian McLaren's new book Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises, and a Revolution of Hope and it is really challenging me but also inspiring me to tackle some of the biggest issues our world faces today. Though I am only in the first few chapters, he is addressing questions that I and many others are wrestling with around the world. 1) What are the biggest issues that our world is facing? 2) What does Jesus and his message of the kingdom of God have to say about those issues? Not exactly original question but certainly ones that I don't hear many people, especially in the realm of Christianity, addressing. He developed these questions off of the central premise of one of his earlier books The Secret Message of Jesus - the kingdom of God of which Jesus spoke is very much concerned with the present world rather than being only relegated to a future land of bliss. Issues such as poverty, HIV/AIDS epidemic, destruction of creation for humanity's benefit, and the widening gap between the rich and poor are important to God and very much in contrast to his will and ways. In short, this is a book about social justice - a topic grossly underdiscussed in Christian circles. He identifies four major crises in the world which he calls...1) Prosperity crisis (environmental destruction b/c of our consumeristic needs), 2) Equity crisis (widening gap between the rich and poor), 3) Security crisis (fear of global war with nuclear weapons), 4) Spirituality crisis (the failure of either of world's two largest religions to provide a story capable of reframing and correcting the previous three crises).

I appreciate people like McLaren who are capable and willing to challenge the status quo of American Christianity and yet are capable of offering an alternative consistent with the grand vision of Scripture. I an really enjoying the book and look forward to continuing the journey.

Why Oh Lord...

I am currently doing my OB/GYN rotation as a third year medical student and today was easily the most difficult day of my training. I didn't take a test nor did I have some humiliating blunder that forced me to stuff my head in the sand. No, actually I witnessed grief of unimaginable proportions as I assisted my preceptor (the doctor I work under) with removing a stillborn baby girl from its mother. I witnessed this grief not as the father did as he clutched his wife's hand and cried, all the while trying to remain strong. I watched as the mother's mom nearly gagged as she saw the lifeless, limp baby covered in blood emerge from her daughter's womb. I watched her hold her granddaughter for the first time with the reality setting in that no return of love would ever come from this precious life. I watched as the mother pushed and pushed through her tears only to not have the joy of holding the daughter she has dreamed of during the past months. My medical textbooks tell me that she experienced a fetal demise with retention of the "products of conception." However, the family made no efforts to hide their pain at the loss of their daughter/granddaughter. Such a distinction allows medical personnel a certain distance from the emotion that I found difficult to maintain. My preceptor informing me more of the diagnostic and treatment guidelines under such circumstances interrupted my thoughts as I wrestled to walk in the tensions between the worlds in which I have chosen to live. I found myself shedding tears along with the family seeking to walk with them through their pain while I was expected to learn the science of physiology of a fetal demise from inside a profession in which "professional distance" is assumed. How do I maintain such a balance that I know needs to exist. A complete acceptance of such boundaries creates a barrier that turns physicians into standoffish jerks. However, a complete denial of such boundaries can certainly be risky in terms of the quality of patient care. Today I felt torn in the midst of a ministry struggle unlike anything I have experienced to this point. Why oh Lord....

Hello Again!

Well. It's only been over two years since the last time I posted something here so it's probably about time to pick it back up. The past two years have been a blur in that I have finished my first two years of medical school, passed part 1 of my board exams, watched my son Garrett grow into a fiesty 20 month old and walked with my wife through our second pregnancy while we expect the birth of our second son, Luke Richard any day now. Wow!! We've been busy :)

Anyways! Things are going really well. We have gotten plugged into the church family in Duncanville, TX and are very blessed to have such a family of believers. I hope to become more consistent in blogging about the things going on in our world and my reflections upon them. There is certainly plenty to reflect upon! I pray blessings upon you and feel free to comment any time on anything you read! Blessings!