Sunday, November 09, 2008

My World

It has been a while since my last post. Life is just a tad busy! Currently I am in Detroit, MI doing rotations in orthopedic surgery at a couple of programs up here. I have not seen my wife or kiddos in the past 5 weeks and it bites! One more week and then it will be over I will be back in the bustling metropolis of Elkhorn, TN staring at the cows. Until then...

My world continues to be consumed with orthopedic surgery - doing orthopedic surgery, studying orthopedic surgery, interviewing orthopedic surgery programs, and then studying some more! All in all, my life is orthopedic surgery for the past few weeks and it is frustrating. Frustrating not because I miss my family like crazy or miss being away from home (I do to both) but because it seemingly consumes every waking thought. It almost seems as if it has become an idol - an idol that demands everything from me and seems to give me only a continuing thirst for more of it! I love what I am doing but I pray that my passion is for the kingdom of God and that this pursuit is of a dream planted within me by God and not the other way around.

Later...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Good Question!

On Sunday mornings we are exploring the world of disorientation - those times where God is conspicuous by his absence and we have spent the last couple weeks on Job. What an interesting book and oh the questions that are brought to the surface! Some of life's toughest questions (and their baffling answers) are found within its confines and yet we often leave the book having most of our questions unanswered. We don't know why good people suffer. We don't know if the conversation between God and Satan can be applied to all circumstances of suffering. We don't know how bold we are to be before God because we find in Job a brashness way too uncomfortable for people today. Is God's answer to Job (can you imagine God actually answering someone's complaint?) in chapter 38ff really the answer to our lofty questions of theodicy - " I'm God. You're not. So shut up." (very loose translation :) ) All of these and more are asked of Job but in my opinion are secondary to the more important question asked by Satan - "Does Job fear God for nothing?" GREAT QUESTION!! Way to go Satan! (I did feel quite weird typing that last statement) He went straight to the heart of the matter and removed all doubt as to what he thought Job was in it for. He was convinced that Job's relationship with God was only as deep as his pockets. And then the rest of the book...

Though he had the right question, thank God he had the wrong answer. Why do I serve God? What do I expect from this relationship that I am involved? What are my "rights" (to steal a term from our political scene) before God and what am I entitled to before the great I AM? The typical answer that I hear from people and pulpits around the nation is that we serve/love God because he sent his Son to earth to die for our sins so we could live with him for eternal life. Valid argument. However, a subtle and sometimes sinister assumption rests in the middle of this statement. We serve God primarily because of what God does for us, not who God is! I realize that sending Jesus was an expression of God's character but we don't answer that way nor do we often live that way. If God had not sent Jesus yet, we would not serve Him as the people of Israel did for so many years? For Job, the blessing of Jesus was not yet available. He was faced with the test(s) of his life and had to choose why he served God. For Job the answer was "Naked I came into this world and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away - May the name of the LORD be praised." God's actions - good or bad - were in no way tied to Job giving him praise for being the GREAT I AM. Yahweh wasn't Job's genie or his Santa Claus or his divine ATM. He is/was worthy simply because he was/is... GOD!

When I look at my life and I look at Christianity in the world - especially in the USA - I see the consumer-driven "what have you done for me lately?" mentality that would not think of praising a God that killed (allowed...whatever) their family, took away their money and reputation, and took away their health. A God that did that would get kicked to the curb in second! Satan was wrong about Job. However, when looks at Kyle or _____ or America, is he right? I don't know but if I'm honest, I'm at least a little scared! Is HE worth it?

Thank God for Job!!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Out of Bounds!

Is there a boundary on what one can say to God? Is there anything that is "out of bounds" in one's relationship with God? What is appropriate and inappropriate in expressing one's views or opinions or perspectives to God about how he is doing his job?

Our class at church is studying the Psalms using Walter Brueggemann's model of orientation, disorientation, and new orientation. For the past few weeks we have looked at the psalms of orientation - those times in life when life makes perfect sense, theology is neat and tidy, praises are abundant and questions are few. However, now we are transitioning into the world of disorientation - those times in the pit, the "dark night of the soul," when the world makes no sense and God is conspicuous by his perceived absence. Theology is messy and has to construct large convoluted arguments in order to protect us from God or Him from us. Questions abound - questions that scare us in their ability to doubt everything that we were so sure of during the times of orientation. During these times, what is out of bounds? Is our brutal honesty - honesty that would be called heresy by many - okay? Or do we need to curb our feelings in favor of more tame expressions of disgust and disagreement?

Psalms is a wonderful resource in addressing these questions. As the worship book of the people of Israel, they express faith in forms both common and uncommon, comfortable and uncomfortable, orthodox and "theologically" suspect. As I read Psalms like #13, I find a faith unlike my own and one that pushes the boundaries of normalcy. "Look on me and answer Oh Lord my God."(v.3) Such a bold statement to the God we are supposedly not to confront for fear of retaliation or fear of overstepping our creaturely status. I'm not willing to do that. And my question to myself is why not? Is it because I don't think God can take it or that I don't have the right because of my sin? Is it because I have never been far enough down in the pit to question "How long will you hide your face from me?" If the people of Israel validated this psalm as a legitimate expression of faith to God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, why is even broaching the topic so ridiculously difficult for me and many other believers today?

We discussed this in class this Easter morning while also watching the Nooma video "Open." Rob Bell spoke of Jesus on the night of Gethsemane being brutally honest with God not wanting to go through with the task ahead of him but also open to the ongoing work that God was up to through him. Such honesty, regardless of the comfort level of those around us, is necessary in order to be pleasing to God and to pray "effectively." God is big enough to take whatever we have to throw at him and to withhold those pockets of anger, rage, doubt, and fear is essentially denying God's sovereignty over those aspects of our life. Thank you God for Psalm 13!

Daddy's Favorite People

Friday, March 21, 2008

Life's Little Miracle

Today we brought home our second little miracle! Luke Richard Stephens was born Wednesday at 12:36PM and it was a blessing to be able to deliver him myself...What a neat experience to have during a lifetime! He was not exactly a little fellow - almost 21 inches long and weighing in at 9lbs. 15oz.! Mom and Daddy (along with the grandparents) are really happy to meet him) though Garrett is still wondering about how to cope with this little bomb that was dropped onto his world. However, he's hanging in there.

We brought him home though with reservation and a little anxiety though as we have learned more about Luke's right kidney. He has what is called a right hydronephrosis - a blockage somewhere between the kidney and bladder causing the kidney to swell along with the ureter. We don't know where the blockage is located but there will be a couple of tests this week that will hopefully let us know whether this is a problem to be corrected surgically or left alone to correct on its own. We appreciate your prayers as we raise this little guy!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

"Everything Must Change"

I am reading Brian McLaren's new book Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises, and a Revolution of Hope and it is really challenging me but also inspiring me to tackle some of the biggest issues our world faces today. Though I am only in the first few chapters, he is addressing questions that I and many others are wrestling with around the world. 1) What are the biggest issues that our world is facing? 2) What does Jesus and his message of the kingdom of God have to say about those issues? Not exactly original question but certainly ones that I don't hear many people, especially in the realm of Christianity, addressing. He developed these questions off of the central premise of one of his earlier books The Secret Message of Jesus - the kingdom of God of which Jesus spoke is very much concerned with the present world rather than being only relegated to a future land of bliss. Issues such as poverty, HIV/AIDS epidemic, destruction of creation for humanity's benefit, and the widening gap between the rich and poor are important to God and very much in contrast to his will and ways. In short, this is a book about social justice - a topic grossly underdiscussed in Christian circles. He identifies four major crises in the world which he calls...1) Prosperity crisis (environmental destruction b/c of our consumeristic needs), 2) Equity crisis (widening gap between the rich and poor), 3) Security crisis (fear of global war with nuclear weapons), 4) Spirituality crisis (the failure of either of world's two largest religions to provide a story capable of reframing and correcting the previous three crises).

I appreciate people like McLaren who are capable and willing to challenge the status quo of American Christianity and yet are capable of offering an alternative consistent with the grand vision of Scripture. I an really enjoying the book and look forward to continuing the journey.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Why Oh Lord...

I am currently doing my OB/GYN rotation as a third year medical student and today was easily the most difficult day of my training. I didn't take a test nor did I have some humiliating blunder that forced me to stuff my head in the sand. No, actually I witnessed grief of unimaginable proportions as I assisted my preceptor (the doctor I work under) with removing a stillborn baby girl from its mother. I witnessed this grief not as the father did as he clutched his wife's hand and cried, all the while trying to remain strong. I watched as the mother's mom nearly gagged as she saw the lifeless, limp baby covered in blood emerge from her daughter's womb. I watched her hold her granddaughter for the first time with the reality setting in that no return of love would ever come from this precious life. I watched as the mother pushed and pushed through her tears only to not have the joy of holding the daughter she has dreamed of during the past months. My medical textbooks tell me that she experienced a fetal demise with retention of the "products of conception." However, the family made no efforts to hide their pain at the loss of their daughter/granddaughter. Such a distinction allows medical personnel a certain distance from the emotion that I found difficult to maintain. My preceptor informing me more of the diagnostic and treatment guidelines under such circumstances interrupted my thoughts as I wrestled to walk in the tensions between the worlds in which I have chosen to live. I found myself shedding tears along with the family seeking to walk with them through their pain while I was expected to learn the science of physiology of a fetal demise from inside a profession in which "professional distance" is assumed. How do I maintain such a balance that I know needs to exist. A complete acceptance of such boundaries creates a barrier that turns physicians into standoffish jerks. However, a complete denial of such boundaries can certainly be risky in terms of the quality of patient care. Today I felt torn in the midst of a ministry struggle unlike anything I have experienced to this point. Why oh Lord....

Hello Again!

Well. It's only been over two years since the last time I posted something here so it's probably about time to pick it back up. The past two years have been a blur in that I have finished my first two years of medical school, passed part 1 of my board exams, watched my son Garrett grow into a fiesty 20 month old and walked with my wife through our second pregnancy while we expect the birth of our second son, Luke Richard any day now. Wow!! We've been busy :)

Anyways! Things are going really well. We have gotten plugged into the church family in Duncanville, TX and are very blessed to have such a family of believers. I hope to become more consistent in blogging about the things going on in our world and my reflections upon them. There is certainly plenty to reflect upon! I pray blessings upon you and feel free to comment any time on anything you read! Blessings!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Worship

This past Sunday night, our small group at church invited our new worship minister to discuss issues surrounding OPCOC and the worship assembly there. After it was over several thoughts hit me that I wanted to express and try to formulate better. As our group sat there for at least an hour talking about worship, it occurred to me the we spent the entire time talking about the 30-40 minutes per week at church that we spend singing. Allen (our worship minister) made one comment about worship being a 24/7 endeavor but besides that, it was all about the one hour that has come to be known as "church." Our group spoke of "wanting more in worship" yet it was all in the context of the one hour. If worship truly is about honoring God regardless of the context, then a true understanding of worship would include the rest of the week. Are we "wanting more in worship" as employees, parents, sons and daughters, friends, etc. or have we become so entangled within the web of modern American Christianity that we can't see past it? A second related idea: It also seemed that some were saying that they were now able to worship because Allen is here (who by the way is one of the best worship leaders I've heard). Some of the comments were "Now I feel like I can worship." Maybe it is just me but this also seems to reveal a great deal about how we define worship. Modernity, with its very reductionistic approach, has shrunk the grand notion of worship to one hour/week and in doing so has squeezed a great deal of the life out of it. Words like "community" and "tranformation" have a very small place in our view of worship except in their relation to the Sunday morning hour and yet it is these two words that are most important to the writers of the NT. Worship, including the time on the first day of the week, is about God. It ain't about me. It ain't about you. It is entering into the presence of God AND leaving that presence changed in some way with fresh perspective, new realizations, true joy, unfettered peace, and Godly love. Worship is also done within the context of community - community does not equal Sunday morning - a context of the body of Christ that supercedes days of the week and dress codes and acts as a living breathing organism within the world. Worship should not only leave one with a new perspective about who God is but in light of that discovery, it should also shed light on who the person next to you is. Worship should make me love my brother and sister more because the God in whose presence I live created them in HIS image and despite their faults, they are part of the reason Jesus came. The longer I live the less I am concerned with HOW everything happens on Sunday morning. I don't care near as much about the singing and the sermon as I do the formation of a community who will BE the body of Christ seven days a week. This does not mean that Sunday morning is an insignificant time. On the contrary, it is a vital statement of unity and fellowship to gather together in the name of Jesus Christ as a visible community and together praise him. However, Sunday morning is only scratching the surface. The real worship occurs in doing the mundane activities of the week acknowledging that everything I do (including my sin) is an offering of worship. As it was put by Allen at group, the question is not whether I am worshipping or not. The question is which God am I worshipping?

The idea of Missional Church seeks to move away from this reductionistic version of worship. It seeks to place worship within the context of the larger mission of God and to form worshipping communities who see their lives as "Practicing the Presence of God" (Brother Lawrence) in all they do. Yet another reason why Missional Church makes so much sense to me. I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone besides me but these are a few thoughts lately. I hope they spark discussion.

Until He Comes,
Kyle

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Missional Church - Initial thoughts

For the past few weeks I have been trying to engage what is my foremost passion – ministry. I see myself as a minister in all that I do and my life’s passion is to minister to people through the avenue of medicine and to see my interactions with patients as places where the love, joy, and hope found in Jesus Christ can be expressed. I love ministry though I have very little interest in being a full-time pastor with a congregation. As part of my M.Div. training at ACU, I got to be a chaplain at a hospital – an experience that was extremely formative in my theological worldview. As I went room-to-room visiting patients, it became increasingly clear that God had better be working way beyond my skills as a chaplain. Before I went into a room, I had to believe God was already there working in the life of the patient and their family. And when I left each room, whether it was five minutes or two hours later, I had to believe God was still working. Such an experience forced me to think of the kingdom possibilities of each conversation, each moment, and each interaction throughout my day. It is for these reasons that I am so attracted to the idea of the Missional Church.

The question of what God is up to in the world is found most succinctly in II Corinthians 5:14-21 - one of the most theologically packed passages in all Scripture. In it, the mission of God is revealed to be that of reconciling all of creation back to himself through the sending of his Son Jesus Christ. It is this same ministry of reconciliation that God has given to his followers – called to be ambassadors of a kingdom characterized by the forgiveness of sin and righteousness found in Christ. Reconciliation is not some spiritual, abstract, psychological notion of inner peace. It is the possibility and means of bringing back into relationship with God what is now fragmented and broken – relationships, creation, families, etc. This passage and concept define my mission and allow the profession of medicine – all professions for that matter – to be Christian in that people can engage God’s mission from any field of choice. This is possible because the mission is found within the very nature of God.

"Mission is understood as being derived from the very nature of God. It is thus put in the context of the doctrine of the Trinity, not of ecclesiology or soteriology. The classical doctrine of the mission Dei as God the Father sending the Son, and God the Father and the Son sending the Spirit is expanded to include yet another “movement:” Father, Son, and Holy Spirit sending the church into the world."
- David Bosch, Transforming Mission: Paradigm Shifts in Theology of Mission p.390.

Trinitarian thought is essential to any theological attempt to define one’s ministry. Just as Christ was sent by the Father for a specific purpose, so I am sent – called if you will – on a mission to deny what I want and take up my cross for the sake of the kingdom of God. As a physician, what does that mean? Every patient is a human being created in the image of God? Every conversation is a locale for the Spirit to move in ways unknown to either conversation partner? This seems to work well individually but one thing is completely left out – community. At the very heart of the Trinity is community – three in one – unity without uniformity – distinct yet same. Medicine offers a tremendous opportunity for interaction with people at times of struggle though it also breeds the temptation of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. Establishing a balance between medicine, church, family, friends, other priorities will be quite the challenge. I guess that’s why they say we are saved by the tremendous grace of God!

Another Question: My instinct is to call this “Trinitarian medicine” yet I wonder if this is even possible or exists? That sort of seems like crossing a line that either can’t be crossed or shouldn’t be crossed? Another time maybe!

Until He Comes... KRS

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Refreshed and Challenged

This summer has been one of renewal for me in many ways. I mentioned in the previous post that my passions are theology and medicine and ways in which they intersect. My first year of medical school was one in which many things were confirmed but also many things were challenged. I am more and more fascinated with the human body than I have ever been but the workload of the year chipped away my time to engage in deep theological reflection as it at times bordered more on sheer survival than anything else. Because I am now auditing the MBA classes I began at the beginning of the summer (a long story not worth telling), I have had time to catch up on some reading that has been a long time in coming. Here is a list of the books I have read this summer.

- A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren
- A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren
- The Story We Find Ourselves In by Brian McLaren
- Missional Church by Darrell Guder
- Treasures in Clay Jars by Lois Barnett
- The Continuing Conversion of the Church by Darrell Guder (currently reading)
- The Missionary Congregation, Leadership, and Liminality by Alan Roxburgh (currently reading)

As you can see from the list of the books, I am purposefully swimming in the literature involving ministry in the postmodern culture as well as missional church material. The world in which we live in one of incredible uncertainty coupled with amazing opportunity for the good news of Jesus Christ to be proclaimed. Though difficult, every longstanding authority is in question and no one institution, including the church, sits atop the throne of American culture. To be faithful, the church of Jesus Christ must revision its identity, its calling, and its mission or it too will become obsolete. This is why I am excited about what the Missional movement brings to the table. The Missional Church material begins, not with the current context or tradition, but with the theological notion that God is on a mission to reconcile all things to himself and to call everyone and everything back under the realm of Jesus Christ. The Missio Dei (mission of god) is the fundamental notion of Scripture and it- not the church's goals or dreams - is what the church is called to follow. It is not an easy transition though it is in my opinion the path that offers the healthiest path for the church to follow. Everything the church does flows from who God is, what he did through Jesus Christ, and what he continues to do through his Holy Spirit to reclaim what has been lost. Notions of Kingdom, mission, grace, faithfulness, Scripture all have new meaning and new life as the leaders of this movement seek to proclaim His kingdom!

I am very excited about the relationship that has begun between the missional church leaders and ACU. Approximately 15 churches in the Dallas-Fort Worth area have agreed to begin the journey to becoming missional. A group of professors and missional church leaders have met with these churches and will continue to meet with their leaders on a regular basis over the next several years to monitor the effectiveness of this movement. I cannot wait to see what God does through these outposts of his kingdom in the DFW area!

The following are questions that come to mind and that I wrestle with continuously...
- How does the Trinity influence ministry, especially ministry within medicine?
- How do I engage a postmodern generation when the field I am entering relies heavily upon Enlightenment rationality and modernity?
- What would it take for a church - ex. the Sulphur Well Church of Christ in Springville, TN - to catch this vision and undergo this type of transformation?
- How does being a disciple of Jesus Christ affect my interaction with future patients?
- What exactly is a "Christian" doctor?
- Is there such thing as a Theology of Medicine? What would it look like? Is it necessary?
- At what points does the kingdom of God butt heads with modern medicine and how does a disciple of Jesus Christ navigate those waters when it does?
- Christian medical ethics? Is there such a thing? How does someone trained in theological ethics dialogue with a field of philosophical ethics?
- Is life sacred? Does being created in the image of God equal being sacred? What is the difference between being sacred and being holy? [In the medical field, most Christian arguments use this line as part of their argument against things like abortion and embryonic stem cell research. However, is this a true statement or is this idolatry?]

These are some of the questions and ideas that I continue to wrestle with and I pray this simple outlet will be something that will glorify God and point all of us toward a more healthy perspective of the world, a deeper faith in God, a greater admiration of Jesus Christ, and a greater dependence upon the Holy Spirit!

Until He Comes...
KRS

Introduction

My name is Kyle Randy Stephens. Born September 15, 1980, I am the son of Randy and Donna Stephens of Springville, TN. My father is a minister at the Sulphur Well Church of Christ in Springville and has bee for the past 28+ years. My mother has spent the past 25+ years within the banking industry and currently serves as the branch manager of First State Bank in Paris, TN. Both are devoted disciples of Jesus Christ seeking to be transformed more and more into his image and it is this legacy that I am most proud of. I have one youger brother - David - who is studying engineering and math at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN. He is currently in Scotland serving as a youth intern for a church he has visited the past two Spring Breaks and the brief emails that we get indicate he is doing fine! :)

I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world - Jennifer Michele Stephens of Midland, TX. We were married on August 6, 2005 during a whirlwind weekend in which we decided to graduate, get married, move to Kansas City, MO, and begin medical school! Yep - all that in four days! We will celebrate our first year anniversary this coming August and we look forward to celebrating it with our son who will Lord willing be one month old when we celebrate. Yep - we found out the good news two months after our wedding that Jenn was indeed pregnant and we are expecting his birth within the coming week. It is going to be awesome to be a Daddy!

I am a 1998 graduate of Henry County High School in Paris, TN after which I attended Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN on a basketball scholarship where I double-majored in Biology and Biblical Studies with a minor in Chemistry. Upon graduating in 2002, I spent an additional year in the Graduate School of Biblical Studies before transferring to Abilene Christian University to complet my Master of Divinity in 2005. Because of my graduate school experience at Lipscomb I also received my Master of Arts in Biblical Studies. Upon graduation (and marriage) I started medical school at Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences - College of Osteopathic Medicine and will begin my second year this fall.

My intent for the majority of this blog, however, is not so much to inform you of what is going on in my life (If you are interested you should check out www.kyleandjenn.blogspot.com to see the blog my wife and I do together) but rather to be a place where I can put together some thoughts about my passion - the intersection between theology and medicine! While I was at Lipscomb I was captivated by these two areas of study and my interest has only grown in the past few years. My master's work in theology on furthered my interests and it is these two fields of study that ignite something in me that will not let me go! I welcome all insights, questions, corrections, etc. in the hope that my thinking and my living will be impacted through such discussions.

Thanks for putting up with my ramblings and to God be the glory in every aspect of this journey!

Until He Comes,
Kyle Stephens